Growing pains

I'm 5 ft 3'. My husband is 5 ft 6 1/2'  (the 1/2 is important!).

Originally the hospital's major concern at the 20 week scan was that her legs were measuring two weeks behind and putting her below the 5th percentile. It was what they called  a 'soft marker' for something more sinister. By 22 week scan she was measuring below the 3rd percentile when they picked up the cleft.

We can just about remember the consultant throwing around medical terms for what could be wrong, but on my notes they provided a list of things we needed to consider (or enlist Dr Google's help).

1. It could be a chromosonal abnormality
2. Isolated cleft
3. Constitutionally small baby
4. IUGR

We would be booked in for growth scans at 28 and 34 weeks. By this point I realised our poor seed may be scanned upwards of ten times.
For most women, scans bring joy and happiness. The 20 week scan is usually the trigger to go and buy lots of lovely things for the baby, find out the gender, see the baby growing, get a nice picture etc.
We only have the picture from the 12 week scan. They suggested to us at the anomaly scans that we don't get one (pretty angry about that really). Sometimes in scans I have to shut my eyes as tightly as I can before my husband squeezes me to say it's ok. There is a breathless, constricting feeling that chokes me in the waiting room even before we walk through the doors.

We had our 28 week growth scan on the last day of term. I realised with mounting horror, that we were being taken into the same room where we had all the bad scans before. The sonographer asked us if we wanted to swap rooms with someone, but we declined. No good ever came from running away.
Our sonographer gave us the most positive experience to date. She answered all of our inane questions and spent 30 minutes measuring and re-measuring. Seed had moved from 3rd to 5th percentile again for her femurs. She continues to be around two weeks behind the rest of her, but does follow the same pattern. She is also finally plotting on the NHS charts for growth.

We are still not sure what this means for our seed. We met with a consultant after a three hour wait, who rushed us through without allowing any questions. She also admitted they had forgotten to send off our cleft referral (another story).

I'm currently nearly 33 weeks. Next Friday, we have our 34 week growth scan and I am petrified. I'm trying to nourish her every day to help make her strong (though I'm not sure Hobnobs count...), I'm staying active and finally this blog has helped me in a way I never thought it could. For the first time, I can sleep a little better at night. It's nice knowing you're not alone.

Reactions/support

We've been very open with family and friends about our journey and tried to keep them up to date when they ask. Some of you may find, as we did, that you will be surprised by where the support comes from in the early days. Some friends we thought would offer a shoulder to cry on/a visit/ support were not really around. Some were there throughout and continue to be our greatest support alongside our family. I do not blame the former, you never know what battles people are facing every day, but just be prepared to be open to new support networks and friends. 

Some of the most supportive comments we received were from a Mumsnet group and truly helped us feel like we weren't alone. We also found the CLAPA website extremely informative and other blogs written by parents and children affected by a cleft diganosis. 

I've strangely never worried about stranger reactions, because I'm ready to be a ferocious Lioness if anyone dares to make a derogatory comment! We have always planned to be open to questions and we will never hide our daughter's story from her.