As far as we know our little girl has a left sided unilateral cleft lip. We won't know until she is born if it is the palate as well, but we are assuming so.
After the anomaly scan I prayed and prayed it was 'just a cleft' and not another sinister condition. I didn't want to allow myself a pity party and wanted a plan of attack straight away. I had questions, I had concerns, I was lost in a sea of medical jargon and research, and, a tiny part of me kept thinking that I had done something to cause this.
We are very lucky to be next to the world renowned Birmingham Children's hospital and we have a wonderful cleft nurse who will be working with us. She recently paid us a home visit where we spent a couple of hours talking through latest research, medical research we can take part in and so on. She reassured us that this wasn't our fault. I have never smoked, took all my folic acid, didn't drink a drop of alcohol, nothing in the family genes to speak of. Yet, still I have to swallow the feeling that I couldn't protect her from this even when she is tucked away inside me away from the big bad world. I know these are real and justified emotions, so I try to acknowledge them and then send them on their way.
I admit, I found it hard to come to terms with perhaps not being able to breastfeed, though I can express. I also felt like we 'lost' the chance to enjoy some of the pregnancy and I worried, still worry, about the operations, the recovery etc. and how many ops our little seed may have to have.
But, we both realised very early on, that this is a temporary and fixable situation. That's not always the case with so many families who find out awful news at their 20 week scan. Yes, it's tough at times, but hubbie and I are strong and I know our seed is too.
No comments:
Post a Comment